contrapostasy | [AU!!! Of shitposting and dick pics?]

[there is zero context for this message.]

so a hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck

The horse-sized dick. Obviously.

[ It's cool, Jun's not questioning the weird messages anymore. Sometimes you just have to roll with it. Except... ]

*Duck. Wow. That just happened.

to fight or ride??

Can I even answer that without incriminating myself anymore

To ride

well. all right. i mean, it's your ass.

wait, let me find a

"sexy duck gif" is now on my search history. apologize properly.

no

just. no.

then check your texts in the future so you can avoid oversharing details about your thirst for duck dick. did you know they're actually pretty big??

Oh sure blame the victim here

Anyway it's not the size that matter but how you use it, etcetc.

spoken like a man with a complex.

[ Pauses, because there's a variety of ways Jun could respond to that - and the little text bubble makes it obvious he's thinking about typing. Ultimately, he decides to restrain himself and play it safe... mostly. ]

Are you actually going to go there. You know those are fighting words.

no, i agree. it's the "motion of your ocean," not the size of the boat, that gets you there in the end.

Oh good. And here I was afraid I'd have to send you a dick pic.

that worried? so you definitely have a complex.

Uh-huh. If I didn't know any better I'd think you wanted me to send one.

[ This is some heavy flirting ]

well. i don't know. can your camera zoom in that far?

[ Knowing Ren... that's definitely a challenge. Jun's conflicted, debating the pros and cons of taking him up on that. Is he misreading the signals? Is it appropriate? There's an undeniable thrill at being bold enough to actually send a dick pic to someone you're attracted to, but... what about their friendship? Shouldn't he control his urges better? ]

[ On the other hand, Jun trusts Ren would take it in stride even if it was unwanted. And he can give fair warning. Wait, is he just convincing himself now? ]

[ Those thoughts race through Jun's mind in only a matter of seconds, and ultimately he takes a deep breath and tugs down his pants, giving his dick a few tugs and angling his phone to take a decent picture. But he doesn't send the photo. Not yet. ]

We'll just have to see, won't we?

[ It's coy, because Jun is coy. And it gives Ren enough warning to back out if he so desires. ]

[wait. staring down at the text, Ren swallows the mouthful of warm tea he's just taken and sets his mug down on the kitchen counter. did Jun just... he sets the phone next to the mug and scrubs his hands through his hair.

after a minute, he licks his lips and picks the phone up again.]

sure. i consider myself a fair judge.

[he presses send -- shit. did that sound too eager?]

Edited 2017-08-22 07:08 (UTC)

Wow. I didn't realize I was talking to a dick pic expert.

[ While the words may come across as nonchalant, Jun is anything but. He can't quite believe he's doing this, and that Ren actually agreed. It feels like crossing a line... but it's too late to back out now, isn't it? ]

[ Jun sends the pic soon after. Size-wise, he's certainly bigger than average, but not exactly huge. More importantly is that it looks nice - Jun never was circumcised, and he keeps what pubic hair he has trimmed. A healthy and clean penis! ]

[he's typing back a pithy, honest reply -- something about Grindr and relatively loose standards -- when Jun's text moves up the screen to make room for -- ah. ah.

it's decently proportioned. Jun doesn't have any reason to sport a Napoleonic-complex about his cock, so that's nice for him. the dick looks plump, like it would rest heavily on the fat of someone's tongue, or catch on the rim of -- stop that, Ren. he takes another sip of tea before replying.]

not a horse-sized dick. prefer that, actually. could be ridden without complaint. 8/10.

[ Now that's a thought, the image of Ren riding his dick is certainly an alluring one. If this was Grindr, it'd be easy enough to keep going with the shallow flirtation. But it isn't, it's Ren, a friend Jun's been low-key crushing on and therefore someone he's more than a little emotionally invested in. Maybe this was a bad idea, letting things go so far and putting himself in this vulnerable position - and for a second Jun's caught between wanting to touch himself and smashing his phone to pieces inf pure frustration. ]

[ He doesn't do either. Not yet at least. Instead, Jun takes a deep breath and tries his best to not give Ren a superficial response, because Ren deserves that. Plus there's really no backing out at this stage. ]

I'm half-tempted to take that as a proposition.

[he checks the time on his phone -- an hour before his next client. this is a dangerous, potentially disasterous conversation to be having with someone he values as a friend. he should have just responded with a funny meme, or another inappropriate animated picture, or -- or literally anything that doesn't twist the conversation and force Jun into taking pity on Ren and his painfully obvious interest.

if he were a decent person, he'd stop the conversation here. make a joke, laugh it off, go back to their easy shitpost comraderie. but he isn't a decent person, not really.]

half tempted and half hard. maybe you should fix that.

[ Neither of them are. If they were this wouldn't have escalated to sexting. Jun bites his lip, allowing himself to relax and move to his bed - getting more comfortable. At least on his end, he doesn't need to worry about interruptions.

Still... it's feels a little one-sided at the moment. That needs to be rectified. ]

Calling me out like that's rude. As if you're not half-hard too.

from a single picture? maybe. 8/10 is a powerful score.

[and admittedly, there's more than just a prickle of polite interest in his groin. Jun's cock looks fun, yeah? and Ren is only human; warm-blooded, horny, and deeply flawed. after sending that little confession, he takes a final sip of the tea that's grown cold. the mug faintly trembles in his hands.]

Edited 2017-08-22 10:39 (UTC)

[ Jun's not as calm and collected as his texts might suggest either, though he's taking care to reply without any errors. ]

So you say. I might need to try judging for myself... and fair's fair.

Send nudes?

[ Okay and maybe he's allowing for some tongue in cheek humor to alleviate the tension. ]

[thank the spirits for perfect timing, because if Ren still had tea in his mouth, he'd have just blown a fine mist of it across his kitchen table. send nudes? send nudes? his thumbs are poised over the phone's keyboard to search Giphy for something unbearably meme-y to retaliate, but...]

well. since you asked so politely. hang on.

[Ren cannot. believe. that he is doing this. with a snap of his trouser buttons and the smooth slide of a zipper, his hand slides down inside the waistband of his underwear to wrap calloused fingers around his dick, giving the thickening base a solid squeeze. Jun was right -- he's already half hard.

with pants and underwear bunched around the tops of his thighs, he brings his phone down beneath his growing erection. he aims the front of the camera towards himself, biting his lip in concentration, and does a decent job of capturing the tightening curve of his cock and the flush on his face.

he presses send and exhales sharply.]

[ Jun can hardly believe his eyes when Ren actually reciprocates. While a dick pic alone wouldn't usually turn Jun on, when it comes to someone you like it's a different story. There's something undeniably erotic about it, and Jun finds himself automatically palming at his cock as he concentrates on Ren's expression, though his eyes are ultimately drawn back to the shape of Ren's dick and how perfectly suckable it looks. ]

[ His free hand shakes slightly as he types back a response. Best to address the most immediate concerns, no? ]

I'm surprised you actually did it. This keeps escalating fast.

I'd certainly suck you off though. It's a nice cock.

[Ren's brain sputters like a choked engine. his free hand grips the edge of the kitchen counter, knuckles turning white. he can feel the back of his neck beginning to flush from the -- excitement, maybe? embarrassment? arousal?

he looks back down at their conversation. casual. stay casual, self.]

yeah? what's so nice about it?

[ Trying their best to keep this casual and somehow failing seems to be a theme of this conversation. They're both pretty shitty people, Jun acknowledges in the back of his mind... but that's not stopping him shivering with excitement, licking his lips as he responds. ]

Where to start? The shaft looks smooth and thick and the head's a nice pink... it seems like it'd be pretty tasty.

[Ren takes a sharp breath. he can just imagine the soft touch of Jun's tongue. he places the phone next to his abandoned mug of tea and scrubs both hands across his heated face. he feels a huckleberry of Jun's charged words away from melting across the yellowed linoleum of his kitchen floor.]

really. how do you usually suck cock? you're pretty trimmed down there. i would start at the base and work my way up, but you'd take the head first?

[ It's all too easy to imagine Ren's clever tongue wrapping itself around the base of Jun's cock, and he has to forcibly drag his hand away from his dick to focus enough to answer. Part of the fun of this was how reciprocal it was, and far be it that Jun would be an unappreciative sext friend ]

Usually. I like to tease my partner, so I'd start with the head and then kiss down the cock to the balls, dragging it out.

that isn't a tease!! it's torture. you wouldn't just swallow me down?

[the chimes hanging outside his window click together in the breeze, and belatedly, Ren realises that he is standing in his dirty kitchen, in the middle of the day, with his dick hanging out of his pants.

in the search of some facade of dignity, Ren removes his pants and tosses them over the back of a kitchen chair. he pads into the living room on bare feet, running his eyes over the heavy curtains already pulled across the windows. guaranteed privacy.]

[ Jun is totally unrepentant, as the gif basically shows. And unlike Ren, he has timezones on his side - able to simply lie back in his room in the late evening. ]

Mm, it's not as fun. Besides, don't you know that the longer you draw it out, the better the orgasm?

[for a wonderful heart-in-the-throat moment, Ren thought he was being sent another picture of Jun's cock. he makes a face at the stupid gif and replies, then jumps ass-first in tohis overstuffed armchair, legs and erection stretching out in front of him.]

seldom get teased by dick savants. you're the first in a while. need more than a dab of tongue to the head and balls to get off, though.

Oh? I'll have to keep that in mind.

[ Suggesting that this might be more than just a one time dalliance is... well, it's risky. But that's part of what makes it exciting to say. ]

in general? or with someone specific?

[dangerous games, Ren.]

That sounds like something best kept to myself.

[ Teasing is fun, what can Jun say? ]

unlike your dick, it seems.

[his fingers hover over the screen. after half a minute of careful ~~and libido-addled~~ deliberation, he swallows down the bitter-tasting awareness that he is giving Jun considerable insight into Ren's dry-as-bones sex life and types out:]

still hard?

[ Jun is, and still stroking jacking himself off at that, even if he's drawing it out just to keep the sexting going. So, he can't exactly judge Ren for how thirsty he is, especially not when that's such a clear invitation. ]

[ He sends another dick-pic, penis clearly erect and precum leaking down Jun's shaft and starting to pool over his slender fingers. ]

[and with that, Jun has washed away the lingering dregs of doubt that the man was merely placating a dumb, horny witch in his time of need.

Ren bites the inside of his cheek, trying to keep himself from smirking down at his phone screen. when he told Jun that it was a nice cock, the message was entirely sincere, and now the blessed thing looks even more appetizing. he slides his hand across the soft plane of his stomach, fingernails scratching through the light dusting of hair between his cock and navel, erection twitching between his legs. when he finally moves his hand down and squeezes it, his toes curl against the carpeting.]

oh? thinking of something nice?

[AU!!! Of shitposting and dick pics?]

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